Friday, August 9, 2019

Christians Relationships with Non-Christians part 3


2 Corinthians 6:14-16" Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will live with them
    and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
    and they will be my people

This is the third and final part of this post about Christians having relationships with non-Christians. 

At the end of the part 2 post, I mentioned Apostle Paul statement in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 was not referring to relationships romantic or otherwise, but instead he was warning new converts in the Christian faith not to mix their new Christian lives with their former pagan beliefs and practices. 

So what does this means to people who for Christians who date or form friendships with those outside of their faith?  I don't believe that these verses are forbidden any form of relationships with non-believers be it platonic or romantic but I do believe it makes it clear that Christians shouldn't engage in any behaviors and practices with non-believers that are sinful and against God. In other words, they shouldn't allow their relationships with those outside the Christian faith to lead them to turn away from God since as Christians, we should be devoted to our Lord and Savior foremost above other things.  

It certainly doesn't mean that Christians can't form lasting relationships with non-Christians or whether it's friendships, or even date and marry them either. In fact, some closet friends who are either from another religion or no religion at all could have a very positive impact in a Christian's life.  For example, Despite Christian beliefs, one could learn to have common ground on certain things like sharing the same hobbies, certain philosophies, morals and ideals on certain things outside of religion and complement each other in a good way. 

 Also, if they're of another religion, one could try to learn more about their religion without embracing it but understanding what they believe and why finding certain similarities in certain principles and giving respecting their beliefs while remaining devoted to one's own faith in Christ.  Christians can even still partake in certain celebrations of with them that don't compromise their faith like attending a Jewish friend's Bar Mitzvah or a Hindu friend's birthday party etc.  As for sharing one's religious faith to them, I think that is okay especially if they ask questions about their faith and one doesn't just shove their views down their throats, constantly criticizing them or judging them too much or act in a way superior to them and that their beliefs are beneath Christians.

 It's important to remember our non-Christian friends are not projects or tasks and it's not a Christian's duty to lure them into embracing their Christian faith as their own but to follow Christ example by showing love to others, be humble never condescending, or arrogant.  If non-Christian friends want to learn more about one's faith then by all means share the gospel to them, if they show an interest the Christian faith and the possibility wanting to embrace Christ in their lives than by all means as Christians we can encourage them to attend church, speak to the pastor, attend bible classes etc, enable them any way possible.  

The most important thing is to except one's non-Christian friends for who they are and if they have another religious faith or no faith respect that without any agenda of trying to change them, convert them as it should be their own choice and will to find and embrace Christ in their lives if they ever choose to. 

Then their is the question whether it's okay to date form romantic relationships and even marry non-Christians.  Many who support having interfaith friendships or friendships with those who have no faith are against marrying or dating non-Christians fearing it could lead them to stray from God or definitely complicate their devotion to Him.  However, as I mentioned before, the unequally yoked verse wasn't referring to marriage and therefore, the bible doesn't ouright condemn marrying outside the faith.  

In fact, there are a couple of scriptures that mention believers being married to non-believers. 1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."  Then there is 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy". 

Of course, these verses were mainly focusing new Christian converts from the pagan culture whose were already married and their spouses didn't convert to Christ but remained in their pagan religion.  But the point remains, the bible doesn't flat out forbid Christians from marrying or dating anyone outside of their faith as many have been led to believe. 

However, I will admit although it is not forbidden for Christians to date, form romantic relationships or marry non-Christians or non-practicing Christians, there still should be consideration to take before making that step. Will the different beliefs complicate the relationship by causing a lot of tension?  Will it cause one to stumble and stray away from Christ out of peer pressure, the need to please their romantic partner or spouse rather than honor God?  It is very clear that as Christians, participating with non-Christians in behaviors or rituals that goes against God is forbidden and we shouldn't put a date, romantic partner or spouse above God.  

All these facts should be taken into consideration before thinking about dating a non-Christian let alone marry one.  That doesn't mean such a relationship or marriage can't survive and overcome the differences if one's spouse or partner is willing to accept and respect one's Christian faith and that we won't do anything that causes us to stray from Christ but it could make things harder in some cases. On the positive side, Christians may even be able to influence their romantic partner or spouse to find Christ themselves. I'm in no way saying that Christians should date or marry non-Christians for the agenda of converting them in what is known as missionary dating or marriage.

 Just like with friendships, that could backfire if one keeps shoving their faith down their partner or spouse's throat and treating them like mere projects or a task.  Instead they should be loving them and accepting them for who the are. Also risk the possibility they may never follow one's faith especially if they are of another religious faith and are devoted to their religious views as much we are devoted ours.

I will say if as Christians if our non-Christian friends, boyfriend/girlfriend engages in a lot of immoral, indecent and just sinful behavior and tries to peer pressure us into partaking in their immoral activities and behavior and doesn't show any regards to our faith at all then it would be a good idea to remove ourselves from such relationships.  We could try to help them see the error of their ways first but if that fails and their influences causes us to stumble, then it's best to walk away.  

In a marriage is a slightly different story but if the non-Christian consist of engaging in immoral, destructive and sinful behavior that starts affecting one as a Christian in a negative way, then it would be best to remove oneself from the spouse.  I don't mean divorce but separate until they are willing to see the errors of their ways and turn away from such bad behavior.  Also, the Christian spouse can set a an example as a follower of Christ by their actions not by lecturing or forcing their faith on their spouse in the possibility their spouse will someday turn to Lord on their own. 

 The point is there shouldn't be two extremes that some Christians fall into whether it's isolated themselves from the world by living in a bubble where they shun any possibility of good friendships with others outside of their Christian faith.  Also by missing out  in forming relationships with good people that could impact one's life.  Then on the other side not only forming friendships or relationships with non-Christians but engaging with them in sinful and indecent behavior for worldly reasons to prove their open-minded and non-judgmental.  God still should be the center of our lives and while we can make room for a diverse group of people in our lives.  

I do personally think a bit differently on dating and marriage and which there is nothing wrong with wanting to have relationship or a spouse with someone that shares your faith as your grow together in Christ which in the long run is likely more ideal. However, if a Christian happens to form a relationship and fall in love with someone who doesn't share their Christian faith that could be a challenge in itself but not necessary a challenge that can't be overcome as long as there is a mutual understanding that Christ comes first in one's life. If that becomes to difficult for both parties to handle than it's not a good idea for the relationship to continue which would be quite painful for both parties but nothing should jeopardize one's walk with Christ. 

Once again, long and thoughtful consideration should always occur when thinking of a romantic relationship with someone outside the faith.  Regardless of the choices we as Christians choose with non-Christians, I think the we are still are to follow Christ's example and always show kindness, respect, love, patience, humility, compassion and understanding to those outside the faith whether they are of another religious faith or no faith at all.  We are not to show hate, prejudice, condescension, overly judgmental, even if we feel in our hearts some of their views are wrong, still treat them with honor and respect.

Remember God loves us all even those who don't embrace them as we are all is children, his creation.  

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