Hardcore Christian Patriarchy a burden to men Too

1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong"



There is a lot to be said how the hardcore Christian patriarchy is harmful to women with it' sometimes sexist, discriminating and disempowering overtones.  I have read plenty of Christian blogs that have spoken out against such movements like the quiverfull, visionary daughters, biblical womanhood and other huge Christian fundamentalist groups on how they affect women and girls and I mainly agree with them.  Chauvinism is quite prevalent among the ultra patriarchal Christianity.  However, what is often not discussed is how much of does the ultra patriarchy affect men.

 I posted a very while back in my old blog about gender stereotypes of men in Christianity.  Just as Christian patriarchy as posed biblical mandated rules that can be limiting and restrictive to women, they also fostered biblical mandated rules that forces extra responsibilities and unfair burdens on men.  Husbands are not only considered the head of the household but the priest of the family, the primary breadwinner, the prophet, the king of the home and the final decision maker. This means that he has primary responsibility of guiding the family spirituality that includes ensuring the wife and children go to church pray and follow God. He is the priest of the home in which he leads the family in prayer, sanctify them, be a mediator to God for them, and is responsible for their salvation and ensuring his wife becomes what God is calling her to be.  He is the prophet of the home in which he represents God to his family, speaking the word of God to them, teaching and training them spiritually and biblically.  He is the primary financial provider to his family even if his wife also has a career, the protector and he alone is held accountable to God to the spiritual well being of his family.

Many of these ideas are ingrained to many from the patriarchy movement of Christianity as source of biblical and godly manhood and male spiritual leadership inside the home.  There are leaders in this this movement who even hold the men accountable for their marriage is falling apart or if it fails altogether, his wife turning away from God, his children rebelling, it all falls on him as his failure to provide good spiritual leadership. Although plenty of men in this movement embrace and accept these roles and duties placed upon them, there are others who really don't desire all these responsibilities and authority but accept them as biblically and godly mandated.

The reality is there is nothing in the bible that places husbands as neither priests nor prophets in their home. There is a mention of priest in the home in the Book of Judges chapter 17 in which a Levite named Micah uses silver to have a idol made for him which in turn he makes into a shrine, and has one of his sons be the priest of his shrine.  Then when a man from Bethlehem arrives looking for a play to stay planning to become a priest and Micah invites him to live in his home and become his priest. During those times, the priest was a man who was a mediator between God and the people whose duties included worship and sacrifices at the tabernacle.  There also isn't anything in the bible pointing husbands as the prophets in their household.  In fact the bible lists a few amount of women as prophets including Deborah, Huldah, Anna and Miriam.

 I already covered in my previous blog that that the bible doesn't assign men as the sole provider in the home in the post on gender stereotypes of men in the Christianity( feel free to view post in the blog).  Of course just as women have been disadvantaged by this patriarchal ideals, many have also had these some of thee same ideals to their advantage and convenience even at the expense of of men.  I have read some comments coming from women in the hardcore Christian patriarchy admit that they don't want the responsibilities that has been placed on their husbands and are even relieved they don't have to shoulder such duties whether it is financially providing for the family or making major decisions.

These women are even revel in their submissive role in which the final decisions rest on their husbands and he alone is accountable for any wrong decisions that were made making it a dodge for the wives. Of course, sometimes is more convenient and much easier leave the harder stuff like the harder responsibilities, sacrifices and the burdens that come with them on others to carry out freeing them to indulge the less demanding duties and facing any of the accountability that comes with those duties. Many feel like avoiding certain duties that are seem more burdensome and in some cases used restrictive gender roles to just that in the guise of it being "women's work" or "men's work" and this true for both of the sexes.

  However, just like with women, this too can result in overly demanding, strenuous and unrealistic expectations placed on men's shoulders with little help from their wives putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on them as the head of the household and can even cause resentments and tension within the marriage.  Even if the wife want's to help their husbands in any way in their role in spiritual headship that  that may include partaking in the major decisions, some husbands will still feel that the sole responsibility lies with them and relying on their wives too much and not having any leadership abilities or daresay  their wives are better at leadership than he is, he may likely feel like a failure in some way or a weak leader.

What's interesting is for some, the leadership in the home goes beyond what is spiritual but also inolves all matters of functioning within the home be it which house to live, where to go on vocation, what car to buy what programs to watch and being the primary financial provider even if the wife also works outside the home, managing the family budget etc.  Sometimes the husbands are discouraged from having their wives working outside the home even if the home requires two incomes, he is not to rely on her half her income or else he's a failure in his role as provider. Although, I certainly don't have a problem with the husband being a provider and a protector in the home, there is isn't any scripture says husband has to be doing the only providing in the home and the wife can't  bring an income to her family.

 The problem is most of these expectations have little to do with being biblical mandated but more to do with cultural expectations in gender roles. Using these cultural gender expectations and mistaking them of biblical ideas of manhood and on husbands' roles can also be disempowering to men causing them to feel oppressed as much as women feel oppressed by some of the patriarchal ideals of biblical-mandated womanhood especially if the aren't able to succeed in the expectations.

Just like with women, men also need to be free from the restraints ultra-hardcore patriarchal rules that places all these man-made duties than can both hinder and burden them in the name of Christianity.  Instead, today in the 21st century, men can flourish with better understanding what their roles are today and feel free fulfill their god-giving skills and talents and responsibilities that aren't based on rigid and restrictive patriarchal rules but based on them as individuals and followers of Christ.