Christians Relationships with Non-Christians part 3

2 Corinthians 6:14-16" Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will live with them

    and walk among them,

and I will be their God,

    and they will be my people

This is the third and final part of this post about Christians having relationships with non-Christians. 

At the end of the part 2 post, I mentioned Apostle Paul statement in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 was not referring to relationships romantic or otherwise, but instead he was warning new converts in the Christian faith not to mix their new Christian lives with their former pagan beliefs and practices. 

So what does this means to people who for Christians who date or form friendships with those outside of their faith?  I don't believe that these verses are forbidden any form of relationships with non-believers be it platonic or romantic but I do believe it makes it clear that Christians shouldn't engage in any behaviors and practices with non-believers that are sinful and against God. In other words, they shouldn't allow their relationships with those outside the Christian faith to lead them to turn away from God since as Christians, we should be devoted to our Lord and Savior foremost above other things.  

It certainly doesn't mean that Christians can't form lasting relationships with non-Christians or whether it's friendships, or even date and marry them either. In fact, some closet friends who are either from another religion or no religion at all could have a very positive impact in a Christian's life.  For example, Despite Christian beliefs, one could learn to have common ground on certain things like sharing the same hobbies, certain philosophies, morals and ideals on certain things outside of religion and complement each other in a good way. 

 Also, if they're of another religion, one could try to learn more about their religion without embracing it but understanding what they believe and why finding certain similarities in certain principles and giving respecting their beliefs while remaining devoted to one's own faith in Christ.  Christians can even still partake in certain celebrations of with them that don't compromise their faith like attending a Jewish friend's Bar Mitzvah or a Hindu friend's birthday party etc.  As for sharing one's religious faith to them, I think that is okay especially if they ask questions about their faith and one doesn't just shove their views down their throats, constantly criticizing them or judging them too much or act in a way superior to them and that their beliefs are beneath Christians.

 It's important to remember our non-Christian friends are not projects or tasks and it's not a Christian's duty to lure them into embracing their Christian faith as their own but to follow Christ example by showing love to others, be humble never condescending, or arrogant.  If non-Christian friends want to learn more about one's faith then by all means share the gospel to them, if they show an interest the Christian faith and the possibility wanting to embrace Christ in their lives than by all means as Christians we can encourage them to attend church, speak to the pastor, attend bible classes etc, enable them any way possible.  

The most important thing is to except one's non-Christian friends for who they are and if they have another religious faith or no faith respect that without any agenda of trying to change them, convert them as it should be their own choice and will to find and embrace Christ in their lives if they ever choose to. 

Then their is the question whether it's okay to date form romantic relationships and even marry non-Christians.  Many who support having interfaith friendships or friendships with those who have no faith are against marrying or dating non-Christians fearing it could lead them to stray from God or definitely complicate their devotion to Him.  However, as I mentioned before, the unequally yoked verse wasn't referring to marriage and therefore, the bible doesn't ouright condemn marrying outside the faith.  

In fact, there are a couple of scriptures that mention believers being married to non-believers. 1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."  Then there is 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy". 

Of course, these verses were mainly focusing new Christian converts from the pagan culture whose were already married and their spouses didn't convert to Christ but remained in their pagan religion.  But the point remains, the bible doesn't flat out forbid Christians from marrying or dating anyone outside of their faith as many have been led to believe. 

However, I will admit although it is not forbidden for Christians to date, form romantic relationships or marry non-Christians or non-practicing Christians, there still should be consideration to take before making that step. Will the different beliefs complicate the relationship by causing a lot of tension?  Will it cause one to stumble and stray away from Christ out of peer pressure, the need to please their romantic partner or spouse rather than honor God?  It is very clear that as Christians, participating with non-Christians in behaviors or rituals that goes against God is forbidden and we shouldn't put a date, romantic partner or spouse above God.  

All these facts should be taken into consideration before thinking about dating a non-Christian let alone marry one.  That doesn't mean such a relationship or marriage can't survive and overcome the differences if one's spouse or partner is willing to accept and respect one's Christian faith and that we won't do anything that causes us to stray from Christ but it could make things harder in some cases. On the positive side, Christians may even be able to influence their romantic partner or spouse to find Christ themselves. I'm in no way saying that Christians should date or marry non-Christians for the agenda of converting them in what is known as missionary dating or marriage.

 Just like with friendships, that could backfire if one keeps shoving their faith down their partner or spouse's throat and treating them like mere projects or a task.  Instead they should be loving them and accepting them for who the are. Also risk the possibility they may never follow one's faith especially if they are of another religious faith and are devoted to their religious views as much we are devoted ours.

I will say if as Christians if our non-Christian friends, boyfriend/girlfriend engages in a lot of immoral, indecent and just sinful behavior and tries to peer pressure us into partaking in their immoral activities and behavior and doesn't show any regards to our faith at all then it would be a good idea to remove ourselves from such relationships.  We could try to help them see the error of their ways first but if that fails and their influences causes us to stumble, then it's best to walk away.  

In a marriage is a slightly different story but if the non-Christian consist of engaging in immoral, destructive and sinful behavior that starts affecting one as a Christian in a negative way, then it would be best to remove oneself from the spouse.  I don't mean divorce but separate until they are willing to see the errors of their ways and turn away from such bad behavior.  Also, the Christian spouse can set a an example as a follower of Christ by their actions not by lecturing or forcing their faith on their spouse in the possibility their spouse will someday turn to Lord on their own. 

 The point is there shouldn't be two extremes that some Christians fall into whether it's isolated themselves from the world by living in a bubble where they shun any possibility of good friendships with others outside of their Christian faith.  Also by missing out  in forming relationships with good people that could impact one's life.  Then on the other side not only forming friendships or relationships with non-Christians but engaging with them in sinful and indecent behavior for worldly reasons to prove their open-minded and non-judgmental.  God still should be the center of our lives and while we can make room for a diverse group of people in our lives.  

I do personally think a bit differently on dating and marriage and which there is nothing wrong with wanting to have relationship or a spouse with someone that shares your faith as your grow together in Christ which in the long run is likely more ideal. However, if a Christian happens to form a relationship and fall in love with someone who doesn't share their Christian faith that could be a challenge in itself but not necessary a challenge that can't be overcome as long as there is a mutual understanding that Christ comes first in one's life. If that becomes to difficult for both parties to handle than it's not a good idea for the relationship to continue which would be quite painful for both parties but nothing should jeopardize one's walk with Christ. 

Once again, long and thoughtful consideration should always occur when thinking of a romantic relationship with someone outside the faith.  Regardless of the choices we as Christians choose with non-Christians, I think the we are still are to follow Christ's example and always show kindness, respect, love, patience, humility, compassion and understanding to those outside the faith whether they are of another religious faith or no faith at all.  We are not to show hate, prejudice, condescension, overly judgmental, even if we feel in our hearts some of their views are wrong, still treat them with honor and respect.

Remember God loves us all even those who don't embrace them as we are all is children, his creation.  

Christians Relationships with Non-Christians part 2

2 Corinthians 6:14-16" Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will live with them

    and walk among them,

and I will be their God,

    and they will be my people

This is part 2 of my previous post I had already posted but decided to split them into parts due to the fact they were it was just too long. 

Anyway, I was discussing about Christians having relationships among non-Christian people.  It just appears there is great confusion among many Christians whether they should have any form of relationships with people outside their faith whether romantic or just close friendships.  Many who are against forming any close relationships with non-Christians will use the verse 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 to justify their positions referring to the phrase "unequally yoked".  Other verses referring to non-believers are 1Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character."  2 John 1:9-11 "Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.  If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting,for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works."  

It's really crystal clear to many Christians that we shouldn't have close socialization or forming close bonds and romantic relationships and certainly not marrying non-believers out of fear of being tempted or influenced away from God, committing sinful and immoral behavior.  But the question is what is exactly an unbeliever, a person who doesn't in God, in Jesus, an atheist, who doesn't believe in religion or they believe in another religion outside the Christian faith?  

There are plenty of non practicing Christians commonly known as secular people who believe in God and Jesus but they just don't embrace the Christian religion or there are others who are of another religious faith like Judaism who do believe in God. Then there is the mindset that others not part of the Christian faith are sinners, who are out committing sinful, immoral and wicked behavior. I read that too in other comments from Christians on who they're non-Christian friends are out getting drunk, getting high, sleeping around just doing wrong and it's because they're not Christians.  

But the fact remains, they're are plenty of people outside of the Christian faith, be it secular, atheist, agnostic or from another religion who for the most part are good, moral, upstanding people who don't do drugs, get drunk, or even drink alcohol at all nor are they sleeping around or engaging plenty of acts they are considered sinful.  Instead they are just living good and decent lives by trying to do right and live positive and avoid any negative behavior even if they are not always successful all the time. 

As I mentioned before, we live in a fallen world and are imperfect people and we will all stumble no matter how much we strive to live good and wholesome lives and this includes Christian folks. Many of the non-Christian or secular people share many morals and ideals that could be considered Christian virtues. For example, many non-Christians or secular folks can be forgiving, merciful, compassionate, self-sacrificial, non-judgmental, open-minded, tolerable to those who are different than them who care about their fellow human beings, care about the environment, value plenty if not all living creatures, are devoted to charity and other worthy causes to help others and make the world better. 

 I would even go on to say some of these non-Christians or secular folks are better at these virtues and morals than some of the so-called Christians. So what about the verse about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers?  As I mentioned before, many Christians turn to the verse 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 which precisely mentions this but does this meaning really imply not being friends or dating, marrying nonbelievers?  

This is similar to the verse Deuteronomy 22:9-11 "Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled. Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together. Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together".  Another similar verse is found in Leviticus 19:19 "Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animal. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material".  

Regarding the first verse apparently, yoking or tying an ox with a donkey together to plow a field wouldn't be good because donkey having weaker strength than the ox wouldn't be able to catch up thus slowing them both down and it would be more burdensome as both animals who have different strengths.  Plus the fact that in the Old Testament, the ox as a clean animal representing godliness and the donkey was an unclean animal representing sinners. 

The point was that God wanted the Israelites to be set apart, to not to intermarry with the Canaanites and wind up taking part in their practices that consisted of the pagan religion worshiping other false gods and idols, child sacrifice etc.  Regarding the 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, this verse isn't referring to marriages, relationships or friendships all all. Instead Apostle Paul was addressing new converts to Christ in the Corinth city who didn't let go of their pagan ways, even trying to blend their Christian values with that of their old pagan practices, still partaking in pagan rituals in the pagan temple including worshiping pagan gods. Paul was warning them that they can't mix their new lives as Christians with that of their old pagan practices, that their have to live completely as new members in the body of Christ.  

I'll post the rest of this article in a third part.

Legalism Part 1 Women, Fashion, Makeup and Jewelry 2

1 Peter 3:3-4  "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."




I discussed in my previous post about the church's legalistic views on women regarding wearing nice clothes, makeup and jewelry as many have believed it's a sin against God.  I explained about the bible verses used to justify their stance and I would analyze more biblical scriptures in this post that have also been used regarding this debate.   Other verses that have been used against women which I also mentioned in the previous post is 1 Peter 3:3-4.  However, this verse was never about banning women from wearing jewelry or nice expensive clothes if you understand the entire history of context of 1 Peter chapter 3.

 In Greco-Roman culture paganism was commonly practiced but many pagans were converting to Christianity.  Apostle Peter in this chapter was addressing married women who converted but had husbands who remained unsaved.  He was instructing rather than nag, argue or badger their husbands to convert to Christ, they should have a submissive attitude and win their husbands over to Christ by their behavior and actions. The wives demonstrate a Christ-like attitude in the marriage setting a example to the unbelieving husbands and it's this Christ-like demeanor that is their true beauty rather expensive clothes, jewelry and fancy hairstyles.

Wives shouldn't rely on these materialistic things hoping to seduce their husbands into be be won over to Christ but their true inner beauty.  I also mentioned in my previous post the verse Jeremiah 4:30(Feel free to view my previous post to check the verse) that many might also use to discourage women from makeup and jewelry. But the true history behind this verse has nothing to do with makeup or jewelry really.

 Jeremiah chapter 4 describes the people of Jerusalem and Judah having turned away from God and engaged in idolatry where they worship Pagan gods of other nations.  God was very displeased and told the prophet Jeremiah his plans on their destruction by allowing them to be invaded by foreign nations.   Jeremiah describes an unfaithful woman who puts on makeup and jewelry and wears the color red as a metaphor for Judah who was unfaithful to God when the people engaged in idolatry and her lovers are a metaphor for the foreign nations who the people of Judah believes are allies but in actuality are their enemies who will invade them.

In 2 Kings 9:30(you can also check out my previous post for this verse too), this verse refers to Jehu who pursued a wounded King Joram in the city of Jezreel killed him and became the King of Israel and was prepared to confront Joram's mother Jezebel the Queen who had lured her deceased husband King Ahab away from God and worship the pagan God Baael was well as other dastardly things. When she heard Jehu was coming, she painted her eyes, and adorned her hair. Some scholars believe she was planning on seducing Jehu into becoming his wife, while others just thing she was acting in pride and defiance.  Regardless of her intentions she met her demise in the end.

Also, during the Ancient times in the middle east including Rome, Egypt, Greece makeup that involved painting the eyes was quite common and in Egypt both men and women painted their eyes. Jewelry was also common in Israel and other middle eastern countries. Both men and women in Israel wore jewelry including bracelets and ear rings as put of the cultural norms.  It is important not to confused god-mandated standards with cultural norms and customs by taking bible verses out of context but unfortunately that has become a current theme that has impacted many aspects of Christianity by enforcing a lot of man-made restrictive rules and regulations in order to be more godly.

As for nice fashion, makeup and jewelry, these are well and good as it has been the tradition for women church goers to dress up nicely for Sunday service. It's perfectly fine to want to dress nice and look beautiful in any occasion whether church, dinner, social event, a romantic date etc. without any shame or guilt.  However, the true problem lies when as Christians we allow ourselves to become too self-indulgent on these things  to the point of vanity, defining our worth in such materialism.

As Christians we should be defined by our glory in honor in the Lord and following Jesus Christ our Savior.  That's we our true beauty lies.

Legalism Part 1 Women, Fashion, Makeup and Jewelry

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "In like manner also, that women in modest apparel, with shamefacdeness and sobriety, not with broided hair, or gold or pearls or costly array; but which becometh women professing godliness with good works"



I wanted to to start a series of about legalistic man-made rules often enforced within the church and Christian community altogether that often hinders Christians walk with Christ.  These rules are well-meaning but very misguided in it's way to be used to keep Christians on the right path with God due to misinterpretation of the bible, scriptures often taking out of context and often has more to do with controlling and policing Christians. Sometimes these results with Christians being kept under law where they are scoring points with God and trying to earn his favor rather than being under grace which is the true way to live godly.

My first post on legalism is about women regarding, fashion, makeup, jewelry and even modesty.  I've posting this topic because of the many times I've read and heard on internet be it articles, blogs, websites and youtube videos on this matter which has occasionally left me quite concerned, baffled and uneasy.  Apparently, there are many Christians who believe it's wrong for Christian women to wear makeup and expensive jewelry or clothes and be fashioned-oriented. Some churches even teach against this using the above bible verse 1 Timothy 2:9-10 as their reasoning.

Another scripture used to justify this reasoning is 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your Beauty should outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight".  

Other scriptures include Jeremiah 4:30 "What are you doing, you devastated one? Why dress yourself in scarlet and put on jewels of gold? Why highlight your eyes with makeup?  You adorn yourself in vain. Your lovers despite you; they want to kill you."

 2 Kings 9:30 "Then Jehu went to Jezreel. When Jezebel heard about it, she put on eye makeup, arranged her hair and looked out the window".

The comments I've read or heard was that Christian women shouldn't wear makeup or expensive attire be it jewelry or clothes since these are worldly things. That they shouldn't wear flashy clothes or wear anything that draws attention to themselves.  That only cheap woman or whores were makeup.  No matter how well-meaning, none of these things has anything to do with a woman's walk with Christ or her godliness.  In fact, these mentalities only encourage the Christian community to play fashion police where they police and delegate what a woman should or shouldn't wear becomes legalistic and basically about control. 

Maybe to truly comprehend what Christian women who profess God should put on their face and what clothes they should wear, we need to understand what these  verses really mean. Regarding, 1 Timothy 2:9-10,  Apostle Paul who had written a letter to his disciple Timothy who he left in the city of Ephesus to oversee the church, he left instructions on its oversight.  Apparently during that time, the city was where the temple of the cult of Artemis, a Greek goddess. While many of the former  followers of this cult had converted into Christianity, the problem was many of the wealthy women in the city were flaunting their wealth during worship service by dressing very extravagant with their expensive clothes and expensive jewelry worn on their braided hairstyles. This was their way of showing off  their attire and it was causing the poorer women who couldn't afford such these to be envious. It is also possible that these women were also copying their material from the temple cult prostitutes in the way they were dressing as these cult prostitutes would dress sensual and provocative hoping o attract lustful men.  This could have caused disruption in the church, as the focus was more on the these wealthy women and their attire rather than the service who was turning the service into basically a fashion show.

Paul in his instructions was not banning women from wearing jewelry, or expensive clothes or braided hairstyles which was common at the time. He was condemning their vanity, their need to flaunt their fancy attire and dressing immodestly disrupting service. Instead he wanted to dress more appropriate for church service and they should be adorning themselves with good works instead.  The Greek translation for adorn is "kosmeo" meaning to put in order, to arrange, to decorate, render pleasing and metaphorically to embellish with honor.  Other words, women shouldn't be too focused on their outward appearance to the point of being vain, materialistic and flaunting their attire, dressing so provocative in order to show off their bodies. This encourages conceit, vanity and shallowness and causing women to lose focus on what a godly woman should be concerned with which is professing the Lord with good behavior and good works.

Many have used this verse for the modesty movement where women and girls are encouraged to cover up and dress less revealing and non-provocative attire. Although this is well meaning and can be quite empowering for young women and girls alike this, the verse about dressing modestly may not be referring to this at all. The Greek translation for modest was "kosmios" which means well arranged, proper, respectable. Paul likely was referring to women dressing appropriate for the occasion. The Greek word for shamefacedness was "aidos" which meant a sense of shame, honor, modesty, bashfulness, reverence and regard for others.  Meaning the women in that church shouldn't be flaunting themselves but have a sense of honor and modesty in their attitudes.

Even in today's society, there as been a  hyper-sexualization of women and girls in the media and pop culture for a while now that only encourages them to believe that they should flaunt their bodies, look very sexy in order to be attractive. The old phrase was "If you got it, flaunt it".  There is also the shallow and materialistic mentality that encourages them to fixate too much of their physical appearances to the point of defining their worth on their looks.  This has led to superficial attitudes, where females tend to judge others or get judged themselves by more of their outward appearances, create envy for each other. Sometimes it even leads to insecurities and low-esteem, where sometimes females as young as their preteens, resort to eating disorders, older women getting plastic surgery, face-lifts or using botox and or other women having surgeries to change, their breast size etc, too look more attractive to measure up to the high standards of beauty. 

The most common mentality is females in young thirteen dressing in provocative clothing to feel sexy, hoping to get the attention of boys.  Too much of these indulgences can be quite unhealthy and causes females to stray away from what really is important which who they are inside, focusing more on good moral character and doing good deeds rather than just than their appearances.   Although it's nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful and wear makeup, jewelry or nice clothes, for Christian women, it shouldn't be their main focus or what defines them but their walk with Christ and bringing glory to Him.  A true godly woman knows, that their devotion to the Lord and following His calling is what truly matters in the end. 

I will continue more on this topic in part 2 of this post.